Reflective Summary

I've compiled my thoughts and some pictures in a slideshow.  Click the link to view.

Awareness: A Reflective Summary

Thank you for a great semester!

P.S.  I've gone back through and bolded some of the key words and concepts from this semester.

Book Club

I got to read Honky by Dalton Conley.  This book initially intrigued me because it is about a white boy in a predominantly black community.  Having never formed part of the minority myself, I wanted to learn more about what it would be like in the tables were turned and I were to find myself as the odd one out.  As I read I found that being in that position definitely had disadvantages, yet regardless of being the minority in his community, being white provided Conley with opportunities that his black peers missed out on.

Reading Conley's experiences, I found that racism was institutionalized by those around him. Specifically people in the schooling system.  He tells a story about the Christmas gifts he and his younger sister received while participating in a head start program before kindergarten.  The teachers gave all of the students dolls that matched their race (i.e. white dolls for white children and black dolls for black children).  While I'm sure this was well intended, and probably even an attempt to NOT be racial, all of the black girls wanted Conley's sister's doll, saying it was "the real barbie." These teachers, in an attempt to racially sensitive, ended up reinforcing racism.  This was a bit uncomfortable for me because I feel like the teachers were in a lose-lose situation.  By trying to be sensitive they offended. Conley says the next year everyone got black dolls, regardless of race.  I have heard people complain about dolls and their looks and the large amounts of white dolls.  I wonder if they had opted to give all the children white dolls if parents would have complained.  This makes me nervous because I can see myself in the place of those teachers.  In trying to do what is right I might offend.

Another disruption going along with the dolls is about the institutionalized racism Conley describes in his grade school.  When he arrives, he is the only white boy in the school.  Not knowing where to place him, the principal explains to Conley and his mother that there is an asian class, an african american class, and a latino class. This school that is supposedly integrated still segregates the races into separate classes.  Again, I imagine the administration did so to make things easier for the kids or the teachers, but they are reinforcing that different needs to be separate, and inevitably one is superior.  I don't think this is the message they intended, but it was disturbingly clear in the reading. This, along with the fact that Conley was never struck on the knuckles for misbehaving like the rest of his black peers, shows that there is even racism within the races.  This is hard for me to swallow because it shows me that the problem is bigger than just white vs. black.

Another big thing in this book dealt with class and poverty.  Conley is poor, but white.  Because of the schooling situation in his neighborhood, his mother works it out so he can go to a school across town.  This school's student body is mostly white, but they are middle class.  It was interesting to see that although Conley was white, he still never felt like he fit in because of his poverty.  He often talks about feeling like he's living to lives, but isn't fully accepted in either.  Conley is more worried about having the right labels on his clothes or if he has enough money to buy snacks like the other kids than he is about what is going on in school.  This point helped reiterate what we had discussed in class about poverty being a distraction for students; often they have more important things on their minds that what is going on inside the classroom

My favorite point made by the author is about cultural capital.  Conley talks about lots of different experiences: his friend Jerome being shot, another friend Marc being sent to prison, going to a better elementary,getting into his top choice high school even though his scores weren't actually high enough, not being blamed for a fire he accidentally started, etc.  In all these cases he alludes to cultural capital as the reason he receives these privileges or special treatment.  As I read these accounts individually I found myself rebutting the author, thinking, "how can he be sure his race helped him not be punished for that or get into that school?".  At the end of the book Conley compares these experiences with traffic on a major highway by saying, "Masses of cars lunge and recoil according to some not-so-complicated algorithm.  Pulling back even further we would notice that roads cover only a small portion of the earth's surface.  From above, we don't appear to have much choice in where we are going, or how fast we can get there, but that does not deny each driver's experience of freedom and agency.  It's the same with race and class.  When I look back on my life and that of my neighbors, I cannot say that it was racism that got Jerome shot or that landed me in Struyvesant (high school) or that sent Marc to prison.  Nor can I conclude definitely that it was class that propelled me to the school district across town or got me off the hook when I burned down Raphael's apartment.  Maybe I happened to change lanes just in the nick of time to avoid and accident; perhaps a traffic cop happened not to see me when I pulled an illegal maneuver.  But when I add up all these particular experiences -- as I have done in this book -- the invisible contours of inequality start to take form, like the clogged traffic arteries of I-95." (203-204, emphasis added). This explanation by the author helped me to see that by looking at the pattern of cultural capital more can be learned than by individual instances.  Like he says, Conley's race or class may or may not have played a role in his experiences, but added all together it is difficult to deny that it has played an important role in the opportunities he's had.  For me, this was the biggest teaching moment of the book.

This book didn't really address directly teacher student relationships, but I think it has shown me the importance of teachers being aware of the circumstances their students are in.  Dalton Conley looked one thing on the outside, but his experiences and background was something different than the peers who were similar to him physically.  Also, using special treatment isn't always the answer.  I think of his teachers that didn't hit him for misbehaving or the teachers that gave out "racially accurate" dolls. These experiences caused more harm than good for everyone involved.  I don't want to get in my own way.  As a teacher I hope to be able to find solutions for what is best for everyone, starting with not hitting any of my students.  Occasionally I think people do need exceptions made for them, but I plan on making these exceptions with students individually, not for all to see.  Though not mentioned in the book, I feel like his teachers didn't really take advantage of all the cultural diversity and different funds of knowledge their students possessed.  As a teacher I plan to use students experiences as a spring-board to form my lessons and discussions.

I genuinely enjoyed reading this book.  Some things I expected, and other things surprised me.  In the very end the author talks about how his story (that of just one life) isn't statistically generalizable.  He says, "What's gained in story is lost in numbers" (204).  I loved this.  While numbers can say a lot, its the individual that matters.  I want my classroom to be a place where I care about each individual student, and not the numbers that they represent. 

My (Re)Imagined Classroom

Some things about my imagined classroom have changed a lot, and other things haven't changed very much.

I still don't really imagine myself as a "front of the room" teacher.  I still want my lessons to be very interactive, with students participating a lot and speaking a lot in Spanish.  Something I do want to implement is making sure I'm using students funds of knowledge as I'm teaching.  This is especially useful when teaching things like grammar.  All of my students will have already learned one language (their native tongue), and will be starting on their second.  This base understanding of how their own language works can be a diving board for learning grammar principles in Spanish.  For example, pronoun agreement.  In English students know that if they are talking about a pregnant woman it would be silly to say "he" went to the store, and the same principle applies to Spanish.  I still think I will often use PowerPoints with lots of pictures to help communicate my meanings and facilitate learning.  I still imagine a lot of group and partner work, and I plan to have groups and partners change often to help students break down cultural, racial, and gender barriers while also letting students interact with others who are on different speaking levels than themselves.

WHO I imagine in my classroom has changed quite a bit.  Before I didn't really address race, or the possibility of having students from diverse cultures or socioeconomic statuses.  The reality is that I will likely have students from all different backgrounds, including some native Spanish speakers that speak better than I do.  When my class starts at the beginning of the year I want to have them fill out a survey or something so I know what their experience with Spanish is, that way I know how I want to split them up in groups and help them get to know each other.  By pairing native Spanish speakers with people who are just beginning to learn, I hope to foster mutual respect and learning.  The Spanish speaker can help their partner with what he or she struggles with in Spanish, and the English speaker can do the same when necessary.  In my first imagined classroom I envisioned that everyone would have an interest in Spanish since its an elective.  Thinking about the possibility of native students in my class or students who are only taking the class because it fit their schedule or felt like it was the lesser of two evils helped me to see that it will be important to always have engaging lesson plans.  Educational games and other activities will help me to keep even the native speakers involved.

Along the lines of socioeconomic status, since I assumed my students would be middle class, I essentially assumed they would have access to the internet or other means to do projects or homework.  I may not know what issues my students are struggling with, but I plan to help them complete projects and homework by leaving time in class or going to the school library or computer lab to research the subjects they've chosen to report on.  This may cost us class time, but it helps make it possible for all students to participate and/or complete homework assignments.

Gender and sexuality also wasn't addressed in my imagined classroom.  I think its very likely that I will have students who are LGBTQ.  I want my classroom to be a safe environment for them.  I imagine my classroom as a place of mutual respect, both between students and teacher, and also between the students themselves.  I won't tolerate bullying, and by teaching my students that we can embrace differences and loving ourselves I hope to help students who maybe struggle because of how others perceive they're sexual orientation, but also students who may struggle with body image or low self-esteem.

The physical aspect of my classroom I imagine much the same.  I imagine my class with lots of colors and artifacts.  Travel posters advertising different Spanish-speaking countries, flags from Spanish-speaking countries.  Apart from that I hope to have books in Spanish (at differing levels), costumes for productions, Spanish music playing, calendar in Spanish, etc, etc.  The goal will be to have it feel as much like a different country as possible.  The projector will be a big part of our everyday class.  My lessons will often be guided by PowerPoints I've made.  They will have a lot of images to help students connect the dots in a different language.  This hasn't changed because I still want my students to feel they are on a "cultural island."  It's important for them to be able to express their own cultures, but part of what I teach is cultures of Spanish-speaking countries.  

I still think the example of a lesson I might teach is a good one. It was: "An example lesson I could be teaching would be a combination of teaching vocabulary for food, while at the same time teaching how to correctly use the verb "gustar."  So I would have a PowerPoint with a few foods that I liked and didn't like.  I would explain that I like apples to model the correct way of using the verb, and then ask another student if they like apples as well.  After I felt like they got the concept of the verb and a good portion of the vocab, I would have them ask each other, or have them find someone who didn't like a certain food.  I'm teaching this so students can express their likes and dislikes, while also expanding their food vocabulary."  However, I would add to this by accessing my students' funds of knowledge in helping me flush out our vocabulary words.  It is important for them to know words like "apple" but more meaningful would be to help them find the words for their favorite foods.  Based on what they wanted to say I could build my PowerPoint to include their words and their favorite foods.  Knowing how to say corn will probably get them something different if they was to eat corn on the cob.

Like I said, I still don't see myself as a "front of the room" teacher.  I want my lessons to be student driven, with their ideas dictating where my lesson plans take us.  I want them to be interacting a lot, and to be wandering around the classroom looking for common mistakes to correct or to answer questions.

As far as activities go, I hope to have a lot. For example, when teaching pronouns (yo, tú, usted, nosotros, etc.) I might play a game where we push the desks to the side of the room and students have to form groups based on the pronoun I just called out.  So if I say "yo" (I) every student would form their own group, if I say "nosotros" (we/us) all the students would form one big group, if I said "tú" (you) they would be in pairs, etc.  Then, in these groups I would have them conjugate a verb we were learning based on what group they were in.  This would make it fun, while helping students learn the pronouns and also how to conjugate.  This will also help keep my Spanish-speakers engaged.

I think the biggest thing that has changed since my original imagined classroom has been who would be in my class.  A lot of these issues I simply hadn't thought about.  I have always wanted my classroom to be a safe space because learning a language usually involves making a lot of mistakes, but now I see that a safe environment is good for more than just their learning.  Its good for their souls.

Language & Culture

This artifact represents family, and also the importance of Temple marriage, through which, I believe I can be with my family forever.

Wedding rings are a symbol used in my culture to represent that one is married. It is also a symbol of eternal love.

The Book of Mormon is a religious book, similar to the Bible, written by ancient prophets that prophesied and preached of Christ.  It is the keystone of my religion, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Prayer is a big part of my culture.  It's how I communicate with my Heavenly Father, and also the answer I'm given when I ask for advice from others who share my LDS culture.  "Did you pray about it?"

Missionary work is something that is part of my culture as Mormon.  I served a mission because of my belief that others need and deserve to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in their lives.

I love Spain.  It's where I spent 18 months of my life teaching the gospel and learning Spanish.  Since returning home I have continued to study Spanish and plan to be a Spanish Teacher.

My husband and I really love to go camping and be in nature.  We actually spent 3 months camping for our honeymoon!

Baseball is a huge part of my family!  It is something I grew up with.  My whole family loves it and we specifically love the New York Yankees.

Humor is another big part of my culture.  My family is full of funny people and we love just cracking jokes and making each other laugh.

I love love love shoes.  These are just a few of the many pairs I own.  They are my favorite clothing article and can make or break an outfit.

I also love books.  I enjoy reading and I think they are beautiful.  To me they represent the sharing of ideas.

I myself am not a huge foodie, but I do love funeral potatoes.  And besides that, food is often the center of a lot of family get-togethers.

I love throwing parties.  I'm a very social person and being with other people makes me happy.  This is a garden party I threw a few summers ago.

My culture really values traveling as a way to open one's eyes and mind. It is also something I love to do! This is a study abroad a did in Spain after serving there as a missionary.  I also went to Italy, France, and Tunisia.

Traditional dating is something that is still really valued, not only in my religious culture, but in my family culture as well.

Education is a huge part of who I am.  Its important to me, my family, and those around me.  Its so important that I'm choosing to be an educator as my career.

Beauty and appearances are very important in my culture.  Many women spend and hour or more just getting ready before they leave their homes.

Along with beauty and appearance, my culture really values exercise and taking care of one's body.  I particularly like to run.

Social media definitely plays a role in my culture.  It allows people to openly express their opinions and share their lives with a broad audience.

Minimalist design is something that I love.  It is becoming more and more popular in mainstream culture as well.

I found that beginning this assignment it was easy to find artifacts.  I just thought about cultures that really pulled at me.  My religion and my family were the two biggest ones.  Then I kind of expanded, but began to find it a little difficult to know what I really wanted to identify with and what I didn't.  I even found (in the case of social media) that even though I don't really LOVE it, it is undoubtedly part of my culture and who I am.

Its also really clear that I live in a place where my culture is the power culture.  While that makes things easy for me, I know it makes things hard on others.  I can't help but think of the people around me who aren't LDS.  I'm sure they are lost when it comes to a lot of the vernacular or customs they are surrounded with.

This easily can play over to a schooling setting.  People in Utah (especially Utah County), where it is predominantly Mormon, probably have a hard time finding a place they feel they fit in.  Also, my family focused a lot on education, so it was never a question whether or not I'd go onto college.  But a lot of students don't have those same ideas or even the support to make that happen if they did want to.  So something that helped me might be a disadvantage another student has.

Community Experience: Food and Care Coalition

     Volunteering at the Food and Care Coalition was a great experience!  Its something that I have heard a lot of people talk about, but I've never had the opportunity to go until now.
     One of the first things I was impressed with is the way they go about training volunteers.  Its important to them that although these people have very little (or nothing) they want to give them the best they can.  They care a lot about cleanliness and friendliness.  They offer a lot of services to the needy: from showers and haircuts to mental health services.
     I worked in the kitchen, and was able to serve people as they came through the line.  Some of them seemed very dejected and didn't say much, while others were very grateful.  I found that I didn't really know what to say (nor did I have time to really get into conversation since it was a line) so I just smiled at them a lot.  It was interesting to note my own discomfort.  Partly because I was so unfamiliar with the setting, but also because I have so much more than them.  That was hard for me to grasp.  I may be a poor newlywed college kid, but I can buy groceries.  It really helped me to recognize the things I take for granted.  I don't think I felt guilty, but I can see that others need help and I'm in a position to give it.
     It was interesting to see the racial diversity:  latinos, blacks, and whites were there.  But it seemed that being there kinda put them all on equal ground.  They interacted normally as far as I could tell.
     After everyone had gone through my line, we started cleaning up.  I got to go out into the dining room and start sweeping.  That's when I got most of my interactions in. Lots of them acted like they were in my way, feeling like they needed to move if I came by with the broom.  It was like they were used to being shooed away by everyone. I talked to one woman (I forget her name) who goes there for all her meals.  Another woman there had her kids with her.  It was interesting to me that some people looked homeless or poor, while others really didn't at all. Some even had jobs but still were struggling. You really can't know exactly what a person is going through.
     I was impressed by the Food and Care Coalition. They focused on more than just feeding the hungry, but also helping those in need and inspiring those who have lost hope. The biggest thing I took away was that even small things (donations or volunteering) can help make a difference in a community.  But you have to do something to make that difference.

 

Being the "Other"

The gym is a foreign place to me.  Its not that I don’t take care of myself…. I just prefer to do things outside as opposed to inside.  I had heard a thing or two about gym culture, and I was ready to try it out.

I showed up in a baggy t-shirt, some shorts, and old tennis shoes.  That was my first mistake.  Turns out, at the gym you’re supposed to look cute for your workout.  Levels of cuteness varied, and I’ll admit I wasn’t the only one “underdressed,” but the majority of the women there (and even some men) were looking super cute and matchy.

I went straight to what I felt most comfortable with--the treadmill.  Running is something that I mostly enjoy, but its something I do with friends outside.  Almost everyone on the treadmills had headphones in.  And not only that, they didn’t even look at each other.  Blank stares straight ahead.  I guess I don’t want people looking at me while I run, but they don’t even smile or acknowledge one another.  

Maybe they were just in the zone, but it felt a little zombie like.  The fact that I wasn’t listening to an iPod made me the odd one out.

It was easy for me to feel alone in a crowd of people, NO ONE talked to each other besides the occasional “are you done with this machine?”

Speaking of machines, before braving one, I would sneak peeks to see how to properly use them.  And then I would usually do a few reps at a certain weight before lowering the weight with embarrassment.  The truth is I felt pretty incompetent, and it seemed everybody could see it.

All in all, I think the thing that made me stand out the most was my clothes.  Next time I’ll be sure to wear some leggings, a neon shirt and some nike frees.  

Cultural Snapshot: Gay men in media

I decided to look into the 'single story' of gay men in the media. I found quite a few clips of tv shows and movies with gay characters in them.  Most of them portray more than one stereotype in a single clip.  The main things the media portrays are:

• Gay men are feminine 
• Gay men aren't burly
• Gay men only have female friends (or gay friends)
• Gay men care about fashion
• Gay men are dramatic
• Gay men love singing/performing

These clips portray the stereotypes listed above:

 

 

Students, especially during middle school and high school, are still trying to figure out who they are.  For a student who is gay the single story the media portrays might affect the way they act, impeding them from being who they are or pursuing what they want to do.  It may also push them to do things they aren't comfortable with doing (ie. performing, fashion, etc).  As teachers its important for us to create safe classrooms so our students can feel comfortable in their own skin, and not feel like they have to pretend to be something they're not.  These shows showed differing levels of acceptance (widely accepted in Will and Grace to very shunned in Mean Girls), and our students will likely face differing levels of acceptance as well. 

It's also crucial for us as teachers to have an open mind when it comes to these stereotypes and how accurate they are.  Understanding that people don't fit nicely into the boxes we try to put them in helps us avoid the boxes altogether. We need to love all our students, and do our best to help them in their quest for self discovery.

My Imagined Classroom

As a language teacher, lessons aren't always as cut and dry as they might be in other classes.  In any given period I might touch on vocabulary, grammar, culture, geography, etc.  But all of my lessons will include a lot of Spanish speaking.  Lessons are going to be very interactive so students can practice their speaking, listening, or writing skills.  I will more often than not have a prepared PowerPoint to guide the instruction portion of the lesson, and then lots of activities that get students out of their seats talking with other students in Spanish.

The second question I forgot to copy and paste.  But basically I said something along the lines that I imagine a similar classroom to the ones I was in when I was young.  Growing up in Utah that means my imaginary "typical" student is middle class and LDS.  I understand that this doesn't encompass everyone, and also that if I don't teach in Utah my classroom will be quite different from that.  Since my class will be an elective, I imagine my students already have an interest in learning a second language, and so I hope they will be more willing to take risks and stay engaged during lessons.

I imagine my class with lots of colors and artifacts.  Travel posters advertising different Spanish-speaking countries, flags from Spanish-speaking countries.  Apart from that I hope to have books in Spanish (at differing levels), costumes for productions, Spanish music playing, calendar in Spanish, etc, etc.  The goal will be to have it feel as much like a different country as possible.  The projector will be a big part of our everyday class.  My lessons will often be guided by PowerPoints I've made.  They will have a lot of images to help students connect the dots in a different language.

An example lesson I could be teaching would be a combination of teaching vocabulary for food, while at the same time teaching how to correctly use the verb "gustar."  So I would have a PowerPoint with a few foods that I liked and didn't like.  I would explain that I like apples to model the correct way of using the verb, and then ask another student if they like apples as well.  After I felt like they got the concept of the verb and a good portion of the vocab, I would have them ask each other, or have them find someone who didn't like a certain food.  I'm teaching this so students can express their likes and dislikes, while also expanding their food vocabulary.

I don't really see myself as a "front of the class" sort of teacher.  I imagine that I'll be walking around a lot, asking students question to answer about themselves, and about what other students have just said.  I also imagine that I'll be very mobile during practice activities.  I want to have a lot of these so students can really practice their speaking.  I'll be walking around listening for things that students aren't getting or still need help with.

In the example lesson that I previously mentioned, there is room for quite a few activities.  The instruction itself is activity-like in that it will involve me asking students about the different foods they like or dislike.  After I feel like they have grasped the concept, I might have them work in pairs to fill out a "fill-in-the-blank" type worksheet, and then have them get up and move around the room asking their peers about what types of food they like.  I might end the lesson with "flashcards" on my PowerPoint to reinforce the vocabulary they learn.  These activities are good because they help students listen to, speak, and write in the target language.  They grow their vocabulary while also teaching them grammar principles.